ANGER ISSUES - A Case Study by Amadis Cammell

A TREATMENT APPROACH WITH INSPIRIT WAY THERAPY

Background

The client in this case is fictional, in the sense that he is a composite character derived from several cases with a similar theme of anger issues. The examples given of therapeutic body-centred techniques and psychodrama processes were in fact used at different times with different individuals.

This ‘client’ had a childhood shaped by a neglectful mother and a violent father. His parents had a turbulent relationship which got increasingly fraught, angry and violent. When they divorced he stayed with his mother.  She however was preoccupied with new relationships and scarcely gave him any of the care and maternal affection which he craved. He could have gone to live with his father, who had previously provided him with some love and protection, but couldn’t as his father was given to fits of anger often accompanied by violence. To sum up, both his parents’ attitudes and behaviour caused him profound wounding, so much so it convinced him that he had to shield himself and avoid ever making himself vulnerable.

Experiencing his world as one of neglect or anger and aggression, he escaped into sex, drugs, and partying. It took him a long time to manage to live with anyone as his internalised family dynamics kept repeating in his own relationships. These manifested as sporadic hostility, rage and occasional violence.

My client sought help as he realised that the cycle of need, fear, anger and aggression was a destructive pattern in his relationships. It horrified him to see himself behaving like his father. He wanted to recover from the legacy of emotional rejection of his mother and the physical aggression of his father. Sadly, this is a common a story; the details and situations may differ but many share similar dysfunctional childhoods.

Observations

As an adult my client avoided his need for love and intimacy. He found it difficult to accept his longing for affection and connection, which were denied to him as a child.  As with his parents, he developed patterns of alternating closeness and hostility in his relationships. He so dreaded feeling unwanted he felt compelled to control and dominate others, often by becoming intimidating and aggressive. In this he was following in the footsteps of his father.

I recognised in him the classic defence strategies designed to cope with feeling rejected and threatened. It was important for him to understand his parents’ roles in the forming of his defences, including his propensity for explosive fury.  As he and I interacted, I observed him to in fact have a sensitive and kind nature, willing to love and prepared to change.

Remedy

The aim here was to shift my clients’ perceptions into a more objective experience of life, one less determined by inner child wounds, conditioned responses or learned behaviours.

So in this case I tried helping him accept and tolerate his feelings of anger and heart-break, stemming from childhood when he didn’t receive the care, love and nurturance he needed. I guided him into cathartic processing of feelings: vocally, emotionally and physically.

A repertoire of techniques was used including bioenergetics, breathwork, dynamic movement, cushion hitting, and drama enactment with role-play. As this was in a boundaried, regulated, supervised setting, he could freely and safely release emotionally-charged feelings of anger, fear and hate. Doing so he progressively let go of the defence strategies which were detrimental to his relationships and wellbeing.

Over time, he gained insight into the causes of his underlying distress. What had hitherto been in his blind spot became increasingly apparent.  As a witness with a psychotherapeutic lens, I gave him feedback about what was coming up in his processes. We explored and discussed, in an empathic yet clear way, how to replace negative states with positive ones, so transform his pain and suffering into wellness and understanding.

Examples of therapeutic body-centred techniques and psychodrama processes used

As you sense your need for love and nourishment, with outstretched arms ask your imaginary mother in front of you: ‘feed me, be with me’.  Fully acknowledge what you are feeling, so you know what’s going on inside your heart and guts and not just your head. Then forcibly demand what you want from the m/other.  In as a loud a voice as you want, say things like “give me what I want from you or I will make you give it to me’, or simply ‘give it to me’!  Let any feelings of rage and anger come to the surface. Express these if you need to on a mattress or cushions.

Reach out to your imagined partner/lover with your hands, asking them for what you need. Then close the door to them by putting your hands on your chest to act as a barrier.  Possibly even turn your back to them. Feel the effect of disconnecting and closing off.  Sense any emotional pain induced by this enactment. If so express it through sounds and tears to get in touch with your deeper feelings of hurt and grief, rather than any default defensive reactions.

Swinging your pelvis to and fro, feel your energy move outwards. Let go of any pent-up energy rather than hold it back. Sense any fear you might have by putting your energy out this way. Sense how your vital energy can flow out into the world with warmth rather than anger.  Feel you can connect with others rather than keeping yourself shielded from anticipated hurt.

See what you would like to say to your distressed inner child. For example, ‘I am here for you’ or ‘You have me to protect you’.  Sense how your child longs to be held so, with a cushion as your child, hold and cuddle it. Allow feelings such as hurt, loss, sadness and love to emerge.

Imagine your hands are being held on either side of you by your parents.  Imagine they are giving you their full love, care and attention. Using your inbreath take in through your hands their nurturance deep into your heart.  Feel this perfect parental love filling you by bringing your hands to rest on your chest.  See if you are able to relax into that love so you can feel truly wanted, validated and appreciated.

Drop into the centre of your body and sense the very core of your being. Feel the wellness and stillness of this place. Try to connect with your core self and tune into its psychological and spiritual resources. Try sense the particular attributes you need in yourself. It could be ones that help you deal with a problematic personality trait or what you’re going through. In other words enlist your authentic core self to help you in your day to day life.