Meeting Difficulties with Compassion

By Annie Akasati McAuley

I don’t like suffering! For the last year I’ve been dealing with fatigue, long Covid style. It hasn’t been fun, though I hope I am now on the mend. Sooner or later, everyone has difficulties: health challenges, tricky relationships, or other woes. Not to mention concerns about the current crises in economics, climate, nature - and war in Europe.  Suffering is hard to bear, whether one’s own or witnessing that of others. What can we do? A familiar reaction is to try to shut off. There many ways of distracting ourselves. But rather than averting our gaze, can we teach ourselves to look with greater clarity and care?

Compassion means ‘to suffer with’. It is a willingness to engage with the whole of our lives, and not only the nice parts. Choosing to turn towards difficult experience can bring a sense of freedom and relief. It includes a desire to ease suffering wherever we may see it. “But wait! I’m not sure I want to be more compassionate. I already feel overwhelmed.”

Okay, but true compassion is a positive, nourishing experience. It requires us to balance care for others with care for ourselves. When stressed and exhausted we are neither happy, nor much help to others. With self-compassion we can be of greater help. ‘Compassion is an unstable emotion. It needs to be translated into action, or it withers.’ Susan Sontag.

Can we train ourselves to be more compassionate? Recent research is showing that we can. We learn to cope better with adversity. To take greater care and responsibility for ourselves. We have more self-respect, and are happier with more fulfilling relationships. It is a learnable skill that we can develop with practice through seeking kinder, more positive responses in our life. Learning to reflect with greater awareness of our feelings. Compassion is an active reaching out in the moment. We may need courage; we may make mistakes. But in the end, it is worth it.

I am grateful to the co-founders of the Mindfulness-based Compassionate Living (MBCL) course. Practicing the heart-opening quality of compassion has transformed my own life.

And I have had the privilege of leading this course over recent years. It has been an honour to witness the positive change in others. Maybe you would like to explore the impacts of compassion in your own life – both for yourself and the people around you? This course is for people with some experience of mindfulness, to further develop their skills and practice.

Annie Akasati is a mindfulness teacher based in Lewes. She offers a variety of training opportunities through the partnership of Love Mindfulness. She will be leading an MBCL course at The Open Door, Lewes, this September.

Contact her through www.lovemindfulness.co.uk or email info@lovemindfulness.co.uk